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Wonderful Holiday Evening

This is the season! I am so excited for the Holidays! I have been doing shopping and decorating and partying since the day after Thanksgiving. Last night I worked the Brian Stokes Mitchell BYU-I Christmas concert on campus. I have been looking forward to it all semester. Justin brought Caroline and I saw a lot of people I knew throughout the evening. I think there were only a little over 5,000 people there, which is a little disappointing since the I-Center holds 15,000. And it wasn't quite as relaxed as I would have liked. But it was still wonderful. The campus choral group Vocal Union sang a few cheesy songs. I could have done without them. They were a little over the top with their snapping of fingers and hand gestures... But the choir was beautiful and the orchestra was incredible! Brian Stokes Mitchell was amazing, of course. He is one of those men that I would totally marry if I had not met Justin first. I am positive he would have married me. But last night as I was working, the first time he has ever seen me, of course I have to be wearing a horrible navy blue polyester blazer with BYU-Idaho in white letters on it. Ugh... If he had seen me just in my nice outfit, I am sure he would have fallen in love. Oh well... I guess it was not meant to be. I don't think I would want to live in Manhattan anyway. Back to the concert. He sang Christmas favorites like Let It Snow and Little Drummer Boy. He gave some nice anecdotes. It was a very pleasant evening. The worst part for me was when I had to get out of my perfect seat and go tell someone to turn off their cell phone that they were video taping the concert with. I was quite annoyed by that. I was worried I was going to miss some of Mitchell!!! But I got it taken care of before he came on. I loved the orchestral rendition of The Nutcracker Suite. It was beautiful and I could have spent the whole night just listening to that! I was very surprised how well the students did in the choir and orchestra. I was impressed. It was an evening well-spent. I guess even better that I got paid for it!

The Buddah In the Attic

I am appalled at the fact that our country had internment camps for the Japanese in during World War II. It is shocking to me. To be honest, I did not even know about these camps until I read a book called The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. That was the book that introduced me to this ridiculous chapter in America. I had never heard about these camps in school. Growing up on the East Coast, I don't know if they just didn't teach it to us, or between being shuffled from Philadelphia to North Carolina, I just missed that lesson. But I do know that had I known about it as a young person, there is no way I could have forgotten it. Did Doc Vi teach it to me in American History in 11th grade? Honestly I cannot recall ever hearing about this.
In the beginning of the twentieth century, women were brought to the United States to marry men they had never met. These men were Japanese, had money to send for the women, and needed wives for companionship, to make families, or to become legalized slaves. Women from the ages of 10 and up, (so really some of them weren't really women,) were brought to this country with a vision of something better for themselves than what their mothers had. In Japan, many of the women ended up doing labor day and night. In the fields. They ate little more than rice. Their children were mostly neglected, through no fault of their own, until they were old enough to work as well. When the opportunity came for them to send their daughters to be married to men in America, they thought for sure it was for something better. They were wrong.
When the women got here, they discovered that many of the men who had sent for them had lied. They were no better off than the families in Japan. They wanted the women to work just as hard or harder than the mothers in Japan had worked, in the fields. Living conditions were not much better, either.
As the years progressed, things did get a little better. The children of these women grew up knowing English. They got an education. They were able to read and write. The women felt that they had moved to this country for a reason. Maybe not to better themselves, but to better their progeny.
And then the bombing of Pearl Harbor occurred. The people who had become their neighbors, their friends, their employers, their customers, were afraid of them. That was when the men started disappearing. They were taken in the night. Gone without a trace. The women were fearful without their husbands, the children were fearful without their fathers. But at least the white Americans could relax. But I guess the Government did not think that it was enough to take just the men. They had to take the women and children too, because heaven only knows what secrets they were holding.
The federal and state governments told the people that the Japanese were taken away to some where safe. Where they could be safe. They did not tell the people that they had them in camps, like prisoners in the Rocky Mountain West. The children missed their playmates. The adults missed their employees, their grocers, their florists, their neighbors. All because the government was scared.
I am terrified that this could happen again. Maybe not to a race of people, but what about Mormons? People could decide that they don't like my religion and want to round us all up and put us somewhere that we can't "brainwash" them. Or maybe it will be the Muslims. People were awfully afraid of Muslims after 9/11. I like to think that we are more evolved than that. I like to think that we, as Americans would never treat people like animals.
This book opened my eyes and made me a little fearful. But it also gave me hope. I know that this is part of our past, but I hope it is never part of our future.                                              

Column No. 4

Capote, the American Icon

            Truman Capote was an iconic American writer of many genres. Reading his short stories, his fiction and his non-fiction causes me to marvel at his diversity and his ability to engage the reader on so many different levels.

            “A Christmas Memory” is a short story about his life as a child and his experience one Christmas with a much older cousin, a woman with developmental disabilities. Capote’s friendship with her was an enduring one, and their innocence is captured flawlessly in this autobiographical recollection of Truman Capote’s boyhood in rural Alabama. This was my introduction to Truman Capote.

            I was fascinated by Capote and his writing, which led me to next read “In Cold Blood.” This groundbreaking novel, the first of the true-crime genre, turned my world upside down. The writing was so beautiful and transcended traditional prose. The content was shocking, but as a young college student it did not affect me in the way it would many years later when I re-read the novel.

            Capote recounts the events that occurred on and around November 15, 1959 in the small town of Holcomb, Kansas. With no apparent motive for the crime, four family members were murdered in their home. Capote reconstructs the crime, the investigation, the capture of the murderers, the trial and the execution.

            Even though I already knew the outcome of the crime, I could not help but be swept up in the story. It shocked me, it mesmerized me, it made my gut clench. The characters are real men with seemingly no moral compass. They are so depraved and lacking in compassion that I had no trouble disliking the murderers instantly.

            But Capote spent five years researching this crime. He met with the men who committed the crime. He interviewed them, and became involved with them, creating a sort of friendship.

            While the verdict is cut and dried, and you know without a doubt that these men are guilty, the way that Capote writes their story almost makes the reader sympathize with them on some unfathomable level. Capote claimed to have written this with an unbiased perspective, but it is obvious on each page that he had a personal connection to the characters in this story.

            Immediately after reading the novel, I went to the internet to do research about the crime. Every aspect of the story, the characters and the setting had penetrated my psyche.

            While the story is disturbing, the prose is decidedly poetic. There is no profanity to speak of, and while the violence is shocking, it is in no way gratuitous.

            Capote is an American writer who transcended the typical genres of American fiction. He created the new genre of non-fiction novel which others have attempted to replicate numerous times, with much less success.

This book changed the way I look at literature—fiction and non-fiction—as well as how I perceive crime in this world of ever-deteriorating morals.

Don’t be afraid to try Capote’s work. Start with his short stories. Once you read his lyrical prose, you will want to read every word he has ever written.

Family Pictures

Column No. 3

            A light read for the Halloween Season

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love to dive into my storage boxes and pull out my comfy sweaters, wool socks and fuzzy slippers. It is the time of year that I get out the knitting projects that I did not finish last winter. I bake cookies, cakes and pies. I love the smell in the air of apples and wood smoke. One of my favorite things about fall is the array of book choices!

            I love to read books that are about Salem, Massachusetts. They usually revolve around witches and the history of witches. This week’s book is perfect for this time of year. October is for Halloween and Halloween means witches!

            The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane is the kind of book that lets me delve into the world of the supernatural and learn some history as well. The author, Katherine Howe, is an actual descendent of two women who were connected to the Salem witch trials of 1692—Elizabeth Proctor, who survived the witch hunts, and Elizabeth Howe, who did not.            

            Taking a page from the author’s own life, the main character of her book also has roots in that intriguing period of Salem’s history. Connie Goodwin is working hard on finishing her PhD, mastering the scholarship around the Salem witch trials. When she is preparing her deceased grandmother’s home for sale, Connie finds bottles filled with some interesting liquids and powders, a cat who has been in residence for years and a slip of paper with the words “Deliverance Dane” tucked inside a 300-year-old family Bible. Her curiosity piqued, Connie cannot stop until she uncovers the significance of these words.

            When Connie discovers that Deliverance Dane is a woman—an ancestor—she has to unearth the story behind the name, which leads her to a “physick” book of spells and recipes for healing potions. With the help of a new friend, Sam, Connie not only finds the story of Deliverance Dane, but she finds out about part of her heritage that she never knew existed.

            The book alternates between Connie’s modern-day story and the historically based narrative of Deliverance Dane. The historical fiction interspersed throughout the main storyline gives the reader an idea of what things were like for the women accused of witchcraft in the latter part of the seventeenth century.

            With the plot twists, the little mysteries and the wonderful historical background that tells us about what may have really happened during the witch hunt of 1692, The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane is a book that kept me hooked from the very beginning. It is a light read that does not take a lot of energy to get through. Although the writing is sometimes a little flat, the engaging plot makes up for the lack of eloquence.

            It is the first novel by Howe, and while I would not suggest the book for a book group to discuss, it is definitely a fun read for this time of year.

            I also want to mention a really cool website that I found this week while I was looking for some books. Readinggroupchoices.com is a great site dedicated to making the most of your book club. You can register your book club and receive monthly newsletters about new books that would be a good fit for your group. They also have archives of their old newsletters from the past three years. The newsletters not only have great book choices, but also articles about new authors, different types of book clubs, (have you ever skyped a book club?) and a spotlight on a book club of the month. This is a great source for book clubs and single bookies alike!

            Don’t forget to find me on Goodreads.com to see what I am reading now!

Column No. 2 Sept 15, 2011

            Mystery is my genre of choice. If I ever need a pick-me-up read, I know I can always find a mystery to breeze through. For me, mysteries are like bags of peanut butter M&M’s. They rarely last more than one sitting. Because of this, I have an extensive list of favorite authors I can always count on for a quick read.

        Diane Mott Davidson is a great mystery writer. She writes the Goldy Bear mysteries about a caterer in Colorado who solves mysteries on the side. I am always surprised by how many murders there are in her tiny little town, but I am willing to overlook that because they are so much fun! Her books are serial, so you will want to start with the first, which is Catering to Nobody.

        If you like more historical writers, Charles Todd is a great author to take a look at. He has two series that are most popular. The first is about Inspector Ian Rutledge and the second is Bess Crawford. Bess is my preference because she is a nurse in World War I who is kind of a busybody. She is quite the investigator and is always in the right place at the right time to find clues. The first in her series is A Duty to the Dead.

        One of my current favorites is Terri Reid. She is a self-published author you can only find in e-books right now. If you have an e-reader such as a Nook or Kindle, you can download her books very inexpensively. The first book in Reid’s series is Loose Ends about an ex-cop named Mary Reilly who can see and talk to ghosts. She solves mysteries and helps ghosts to resolve any unfinished business. Love her! I was a big fan of Ghost Whisperer, and this has the same feel.

        Another great mystery is Alan Bradley’s The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, the first of three novels (and counting) about the charming 11-year-old Flavia de Luce, who has a penchant for chemistry and a habit of getting into trouble. The book is written in the voice of Flavia, which gives it such an endearing quality that, with or without the murder mystery, I would want to keep reading the book. My book club read this book several months ago and the consensus was that everyone loved it.

            The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie was also the topic for discussion at this week’s meeting of A Close Knit Community at the Madison Library. If you are wondering about A Close Knit Community, they are a group of mostly women who meet at the library Tuesday evenings at 6:00 to discuss knitting, books, and various other topics. They discuss specific books on the second Tuesday of each month. For October they will be reading Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book—appropriate for the month of Halloween. You need not be a knitter to participate.

        Another great event coming to the library this Friday night at 7:00 is Story Time for Grownups. For six weeks the library is reading and discussing the children’s books of Maurice Sendak, author of Where the Wild Things Are. The discussion will center on themes in the books that adult readers may not be aware of.

        Find a new mystery author today. If you have never read a mystery, now is the time to try it out. A good mystery is like a sorbet; it will cleanse your palate for another course of meatier literature later on.

            P.S. Don’t forget to invite me to your book club!

Just finished my column for the week.  Got a good reception to the last one, so I hope it continues! It is kind of nice to be a local celebrity.  I worked with a new gal on Saturday and she said, "Oh!  You're Jenny On the Book! I love your column!"  I thought that was really cool.  And so far, it does not seem to be too taxing to write.  I am not a great writer, but I just write what I find interesting, so I think it turns out pretty well.

On another subject, I am a horrible person.  Several weeks ago, I applied for a job that I really wanted.  I really, really wanted it.  My boos, Marlene was retiring and I was so happy that I could apply for her job, I thought it would be just perfect for me.  I mean, I already had experience in the ticket office, and this would be something I could stick with for years to come! I felt pretty confident in my interview. I thought everything was working out perfectly. But I didn't get it. I wanted to just get over it. Just let it go. But I can't. The person who got the job is a 21 year old girl who just graduated from BYU-I in July. She just got married in August. But she has worked for the ticket office as a student for a couple of years. I saw her on Saturday at work and it was awkward for me. I was angry at her. There was no reason for me to be mad at her. It's not her fault they chose her. But I just wanted to grab her hair and pull. I thought I was over this! I mean it was several weeks ago. But I can't let it go. It was really the perfect situation for me. And I keep thinking, that girl needs to get a full-time job! Not take a part-time job from a mom who needs it! Prayer. That is the only solution. I am going to have to pray this hate out of my heart. I have to work with her occasionally and it will not do for me to have these ill feelings. Anyway, now I am on the hunt for a job. It has to be perfect, though. Fat chance, right?

Here it is! Jenny on the Book!

My column

Writing a newspaper column is daunting.  I am scared.  I am worried.  I am totally intimidated.  But I am very excited!  As soon as I find out if it is available online, I will post a link to it...

What we've been doing

The past couple of weeks have been hanging out with our besties, the LeFevres!  Last week we went to Rigby lake.  We rented a canoe from the college and took some sandwiches and snacks and went to the lake to just lounge about for the day.  Of course, I always forget to take pictures...  Landon and Justin took the kids out on the lake with the canoe several times and Erin and I even made our way on our own.  We figured out that neither one of us is very good at navigating a canoe.  But it was really fun!  We spent most of the time just sitting under the umbrella chatting, but when we got really hot, we went in the water to cool off.  Boy, did it cool us off!  That water was cold!  But we got used to it after a while.  The kids spent most of the time in the water or in the canoe.  Except for Lorelai who preferred playing in the sand...  Later, after everyone had showered, eaten a quick dinner, and got settled, we all met up again at G's Dairy for some ice creams and they came to our house to play a mean game of Dominos, which the women, I am happy to say, dominated!

Yesterday was our next adventure.  We went up to Mack's Inn resort up past Island Park to go tubing.  We had this very idealized picture in our minds of what tubing would be...  a lazy day spent lying in the tubes going down the river without a care in the world, maybe getting into a splash fight along the way...  This is not what tubing is in Idaho!  First, when we got there at about 11:00 am, it was only 60 degrees and looked rather over cast.  There was a chance of showers, which made us nervous, but we decided we had driven all the way up there, so we will just do it!  We were all in our swimsuits and a little chilly- but we figured it would warm up.  We took the shuttle up to the top of the river and were given the tubes and off we go, right?  Wrong!!!  The kids did pretty well, getting into the tubes, no real drama.  But right off the bat, Justin was trying to get into his tube and he fell in the water, all the way!  Now, the water was not very deep, maybe 2 feet at the most, but it was ice cold.  No...  colder than you think.  I am talking hypothermia cold.  So cold that he was gasping for breath.  I thought he was literally going to have a heart attack, right there at the boat dock.  But he finally caught his breath, got in his tube, got Lorelai's tube tied to his tube and off he went.  Now it was my turn.  I got in with no real problems except that I could not believe I was doing this because that water was so freakin' cold!  I got maybe 100 yards down the river when I got totally land locked.  The water was too shallow, and I did not steer well enough to stay out of the really shallow part, so I got out of the tube and walked.  I was wearing my crocs in the water, which I thought was the perfect shoe for this occasion, but I had so many rocks in my shoes, I could hardly walk!  I finally got to a point where I thought I could easily get in my tube.  I tried to sit and BAM!!!  I went over!  Completely under water, I was all alone, everyone was way ahead of me, and I truly thought that I might die.  I thought for sure I was going to drown in 2 feet of water in the Snake River.  The water was so cold, it took my breath away. I was gasping for breath.  Now I knew how Justin had felt just minutes earlier!  There is no way to control the gasping.  It is a natural instinct.  Nothing can stop it.  I was so confused that I was floundering around in the water, trying to stand up, but my legs were numb and I thought that everyone was so far ahead of me, I would never catch up... or my dead body would float by them as they were tubing down the river and they would just have to wait until they got to the bottom of the river to do anything about it...  by then, my kids would be a mess!  But, I finally got up and decided to walk a little further.  Justin had seen me fall and stopped his tube and waited for me to get to him.  At that point, we tied our tubes together.  The kids had all tied their tubes to Erin's tube and Landon was going it alone.  I felt much better being tied to Justin and Lorelai.  Soon the river got a little deeper, and we no longer had to keep getting out to get off of the sandbars...  the sun was shining, and it became a nice trip!  We got used to the cold water and all sang and told jokes and watched some funny old ladies who were kayaking and drinking beer.  We looked for beaver dams and searched for moose, (never saw one) and generally had a really enjoyable time!  Lorelai did great until about the last half hour.  By then, she was done.  She was hungry and had to go potty... (She would not go in the tube, no matter how many times we tried to convince her.)  We were on the river from about 11:30 to almost 3.  It was a long trip, but pretty great!  We will definitely go again next year, but Justin and I will do a canoe, next time.  Afterward, we all changed and made our way down to Big Jud's in Ashton where we ate 1 lb burgers, yummy fries and o-rings and the kids got ice cream.  By the time we got home, we were all exhausted.  We all took showers and put on our jammies.  I think I was asleep by 10! That is some kind of record for me.

And now, we gotta think of what to do next week!  Our last week of summer!  ;)

Summer is passing us by!

The summer is whizzing by and I feel like I can't slow it down!  I had such big plans and before you know it, those plans will not have happened because the summer just sped by. 
Right now we are in the middle of swimming lessons...  I am counting down my last days of work for the semester...  Justin has been counting down the days to the end of the semester since the first day it started...  So I feel like things are kind of on hold until next Friday when Graduation is all over and Justin and I can finally plan some family time with the kids! 
Caroline is getting so big!  I think she is in the middle of a growth spurt!  Her feet have grown 1 and 1/2 sizes just since school was out.  Hilton got a big boy hair cut so that he doesn't look like Justin Beiber anymore...  his words...  And Lorelai is acting a lot older too.  She is talking more clearly and has become much more opinionated lately.
So, for now, I will sign off until we can get to the good part of the summer!  The part when we all get to do fun things together.  I want to go to the zoo.  That is my top priority!  Until then... see ya soon.

I just don't have time to blog

I am busy!  It is summer!  I like to spend as much time outside as possible because the summer time here only lasts about 3 days.  We are almost done with those 3 days...  :) 
Our days consists of morning chores, then going to the free school lunch, then we do something fun like either go to the splash park, go to the new awesome pool, do a little shopping, go to the summer movie, or summer bowling or the kids play with friends while I work in the yard, clean the house, or read a book.  I have been lazy about making dinner...  Summer is a great time for salads and such.  Justin promises that we will get a grill this summer!!!  I can't wait for that.  The dogs laze out in the sun or the shade, depending on their mood.  It is great!  This is our first entire summer in our house and we are loving taking care of the yard!  We are now in the process of taking up all the bark and we are going to replace it with river rock.  It is going to look so nice, in addition to being better so the dogs don't spread the bark around all over...  We haven't taken any trips and really have no plans to do so.  But 4th of July we are going to  go to the parade and go roast hot dogs at a local park!  It should be lots of fun!   Not to mention, of course the fireworks at night!  Summer is fun, and we are taking advantage of the short time it lasts here...

This is a test to see if I can blog from my phone!

Long anticipated update...

I know it has been forever since I have updated this blog.  I wish there were a way for me to do it from my phone, maybe there is...  but I would probably update everyday if that were possible!
The summer is finally here!  My kids are at an age where they can all play outside without my being out there with them constantly!  It has been crummy weather here, so far, so they spend a lot of time indoors.  This makes for a lot of fighting.  But it is nice to have the freedom to go where ever I want whenever I want...  if we ever went anywhere. 
Yesterday we went to the PTO summer movie, Shrek Forever After...  it was silly and lame, but it gave us something to do on a cold, cloudy day.  And you can't beat free! 
We have big plans for the summer.  We are going to be doing lots of fun things if the weather ever warms up!  We have a new pool/water park opening the end of the month which we are anticipating!  But if it is as cold as it is right now...  who knows when we will get there.
We want to go see the Bodies exhibit in Idaho Falls.  It shows the insides of real human bodies...  Hilton is fascinated by this and can't wait to go!  We are planning a trip to the zoo...  We would love to go up to Missoula this summer sometime...   just to visit our old stomping grounds.  We also want to go up to Yellowstone and see the water falls at some point.  Not to mention all of our plans to hang out with our awesome friends this summer!
In the mean time... we just have to wait out the crummy weather...  be grateful for the rain... be grateful we don't need air conditioning...  and find things to do that do not require us to be outdoors, like going bowling, going to the movies, going to the library...
Can't wait for some fun times this summer!

One battle won

So many people have responded to my Warriors post, that I feel like I need a follow-up.  Nothing in my life has changed in the last few days...  well not much...  I will get to that in a minute...

I have been thinking a lot about what I wrote about in the last couple of days.  I have been wracking my brain with ways to try to be a better mother and more patient and more spiritual.  I really thought it would be easier.  I have always know about free-agency.  I have always known that everyone has the opportunity to make their own choices.  But I also have always had that scripture in the back of my mind that says, train up a child the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.  I think that is in Proverbs 22.  Anyway, that is what I have always been taught and have counted on.  I thought that if I just made sure that we were reading our scriptures having family prayers, having Family Home Evening that my children would be good, obedient children who would do what I ask, when I ask.  I know that is a little unrealistic, but I was at least pretty sure they would not kill each other...   now I am not so sure.

I remember arguing, okay fighting, with Chris and Tina.  I remember beating them up!  But I did not think my kids would behave this way to one another.  I wonder, daily what I have done to make my children so contentious!  I know, I am not exactly the best about speaking calmly and collectedly when I am upset, but I expect a lot more from them.  They are the chosen generation.  My children should come out of the womb able to negotiate calmly and without force or physical violence.  No.  I was way wrong about this one. 

I will tell you a little bit of success that we have had this week.  Monday night I had planned a big FHE lesson complete with scriptures and an activity and I was going to be the best mom ever.  The kids were going to be amazed by my spirituality...  as was my husband.  But when I got home from picking up Justin from school, it was late, 6:00pm, the kids had not eaten yet, and I was bombarded with yelling, screaming and fighting children.  Caroline was mad that Hilton was not respecting her authority as the babysitter and Hilton thought Caroline was taking the position of a dictatorial proletariat.  (Those were not his exact words...)  There was crying, there was screaming, there was some hitting and kicking and I had had it.  I had just written this post about my beautiful warriors that day, but I wanted them to be warriors for the truth.  I wanted them to be warriors for righteousness.  I wanted them to be warriors for peace...  I did not want them to be warriors in a civil war in our own home.  So what did I do?  I screamed!!!  I screamed at the top of my lungs!!!  I told everyone to sit down!!!  We were going to have FHE right then and there.  I took a few deep breaths and asked my very in control, very calm husband to say the prayer.  And then we had a discussion about having a home where the spirit can reside.  We talked about how the Spirit will leave our home when we are yelling and screaming and fighting.  Hilton was a little confused since he was just baptized and understood that he now had the gift of the Holy Ghost and did not understand how or why He would leave.  At first, Hilton just laid on the floor mumbling under his breath, occasionally kicking one of us...  But by the end, he had decided it was worth participating.  Caroline cried a little because she knew she had been the cause of a lot of contention lately.  Even Lorelai said she knew the house is happy when the Holy Ghost is here.  I feel like it was a great discussion and a way better lesson than the one I had prepared about responsibility...  (Which I am saving for next week.)  And in the past few days, there has been less contention in our home.  There has been a lot less drama.  The kids are working really hard to keep the Spirit here.  Last night Caroline was yelling about something and Hilton said, "The Holy Ghost is going to leave our house if we keep yelling."  Boy did that shut her up!  Lorelai has been praying at every meal that her brother and sister will be nice to keep the Holy Ghost in our home.  It has only been a couple of days, but it has been nice.


And I read the responses from all of my friends...  and I see that I am really not alone.  I know I said this in the last post, but sometimes I really don't believe it.  I think that I have got to be the worst mom ever.  I read other friends' blogs about all of the fun activities they did with their kids and the clothes they made them and the amazing organic meals they make them and the well-thought out and planned Family Home Evenings they have and how smart their kids are being in this AP class and that advanced program and how their children are reading to them while they are nursing them and how they are doing formula's for NASA on the side and being potty trained before they can walk...  I think that I am definitely the worst mother ever.  My daughter still needs me to wipe her bottom every time she goes potty...  she still sucks a binki!!!  We are having leftovers for dinner tonight...  I have a pile of clean laundry on my bed right now that needs to be folded.  Our downstairs has toys and pillows everywhere and our upstairs looks like FAO Schwartz threw up in it...  Our dog needs to be bathed, we are almost out of milk, my hair is a mess because I did not dry it after I washed it, I am wearing sweats, I ate a Totino's pizza for lunch, I would much rather be reading a book than getting dinner ready right now and I am sitting here writing this blog... 

But I have found out that I am not alone in all of this.  Whether you have 3 kids or 7 kids, if you are a mom, you totally get it!  You know that it is really hard to raise children right now.  You know that you want them to be righteous, Christians who are independent thinkers, but who are obedient to the commandments.  You know that you want them to be compassionate and good and polite.  But you also want them to stand up for truth and righteousness and not anyone push them around and tell them they are wrong for their opinions even if they are a little conservative or a little liberal.  I want my kids to be the ones who look for the people out there who are outsiders and who need a friend, and I want them to say, "I am going to be nice to them.  I am going to accept them."  This is what I want.  This is what I know all of you want.  Or at least some version of this. 

I am going to work at it.  I feel like I won a small battle Monday night.  But the war is far from over. 

Warriors

I keep saying I am going to send my daughter to the gypsies, and I am pretty sure that if I had their phone number, I really would...  Caroline has become a beast in her 12th year.  She will be 12 in October and will be entering Young Women and I just keep thinking, it will get better.  She will start being a polite, obedient daughter.  She will not whine and cry when I ask her to do something.  She will not pop off with some smart remark when I do something that does not please her.  She will conform to my way of thinking...  I am not thinking that I am delusional.

Saturday there was a Relief Society meeting with Sister Julie B. Beck at the I-Center.  It was for South Eastern Idaho.  I think 70 Stakes were invited.  I had to usher for it...  so I went.  There were almost 10,000 in attendance!  Almost all women!  It was a wonderful meeting and I feel like I got a lot out of what she had to say.  One thing struck me, well, a lot more than one thing, in fact...  but this one thing pertains to this particular post...  she said that Heavenly Father is not sending down the polite, obedient, submissive spirits to live in these times.  The spirits He is sending to earth have got to be warriors.  They have to be strong, independent thinkers.  They have to be the ones who are going to fight!  So when we ask why our children are so strong-willed and disobedient and obstinate, this is why.  I should be grateful for my difficult children.  She did say that we are the ones that have to teach them, to train them.  We are basically the boot camp drill sargents in a manner of speaking.  We need to whip them into shape.  Not in the same way they do at boot camp, but with love, compassion and with the Spirit as our guide.  But, I tell you what, it is getting harder and harder every day. 

I have good kids.  They are very well-behaved and polite in public.  To others, they would never dream of being the brats that they are at home.  But that really doesn't help me here...  I want my home to be a heaven on earth as the song goes, and it feels more like a war zone.   But listening to Sister Beck helped me to feel like maybe I am not alone.  Not everyone has this all figured out.  I just need to hang in there and make sure I am giving my children the tools they need to live righteous lives in unrighteous times.  The Lord is not apologizing for the times we are living in.  The greatest prophesies are coming to pass right now, around us.  He knew and knows everything that is happening and will happen...  and He is not telling us how sorry He is, because it has to happen.  But he needs his warriors on this earth for the big battle.  And my role is to teach His warriors.  That is a daunting task.  Our children need to be armed with an arsenal!  They have to have the truth in them before it can come out of them.  Who is the one to put it there?  Mom.  That is me. 

As the Mommy, I create the climate in my home where the Spirit can dwell.  That is terribly frightening to me.  I wish I were a better mom, a better person, a better member of the church.  I feel ill-prepared for this job.  I am trying to arm my children with no weapons myself and that scares me to death. 

But I will press forward and do my best.  If I yell...  (which I do, a lot,) I will have to try to remember that the Spirit speaks with a still-small voice.  And when I cry because I feel like I can't do it anymore, I just have to hang in there and remember I am not alone.  There are lots of us out there. 

So, here's to you mom's... get your warriors ready...  it's time for boot camp.

Our 8 year old!

I have not been great about blogging lately.  It is the darn iphone.  I do most of my computering on it, so I really don't even think about blogging! 

But I did want to blog about my beautiful boy who turned 8 last weekend!  Hilton had his birthday and baptism on the same day.  He was a little worried that it would not be a fun day because we had to go to church...  (Yeah, I know I should be teaching him that church is fun and great and everything...)  Anyway, we proved him wrong by doing all kinds of fun and cool things.  First, his Grandma Bates came up from Utah to celebrate with us!  And then his Aunt Ginny and Uncle Rich came up with his cousins, Elizabeth and Ethan!!  We had a great dinner with them Friday night and then the day of the baptism came and it was so wonderful to have some family there with us.  Our ward had 3 kids being baptized, so there were a lot of people there, but it is not the same as having family there to share this with you.  Uncle Rich was able to be a witness to the baptism and to be in the circle when Hilton was confirmed.  Justin gave an absolutely amazing blessing, as he always does.  (Even if he was crying through most of it...)  I really don't think there was a dry eye in the room.  After that we went bowling!  Hilton invited 3 friends to come with him.  Anthony, Tristan, and Joe.  We all bowled, ate pizza and cake and were silly for hours!  We discovered Uncle Rich and Aunt Ginny's hidden talents for bowling, but I think Ethan out-bowled us all!  (He is 2.)  After that, we went ice skating at the golf course.  Ethan and Elizabeth were not too keen on the idea, and Ginny decided to keep a dry bum...  But Rich and all the kids went skating as Justin and I walked around on the ice with Lorelai.  Ice skating here is not what you might expect.  They basically just have a liner on the golf course which they flood and put lights around it.  For $2 you get skate rental and an all-day skate pass.  It is a cheap, fun activity for the kids...  the ice isn't in the best of shape...  but hey, what can you expect for $2? 

After all of the fun of the day everyone was exhausted.  So we all pretty much just went home and crashed.  Later that evening we went over to Rich and Ginny's Hotel room for a bit to just hang out and visit with them for a bit.  When we got home it was late, but we were all hungry so we went to Original Thai for dinner.  This was quite a treat for the kids because we usually go without them cause it can be a little pricey...  But they love the fried rice and the thai dumplings, so they were really excited to go!  I did take pictures, and I will post them soon...  I just need to find the cord to hook up the camera to the computer.

Hilton is an amazing boy.  I love him dearly and am so grateful to have him in my life.  He is full of energy.  He is smart.  He is loving.  He is inquisitive.  And he has his own mind.  Sometimes this might be a pain to his parents, but I know that as he gets older, this is going to be a very important attribute for him to have.  He made his own decision about being baptized.  We made it clear to him that he did not have to be baptized.  I am sure he won't remember that when he is a rebellious teenager, so I am writing it down on the permanent record!  He wanted to be baptized and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I am very proud of him for that.  He is a great friend to people.  He is polite and has very good manners.  (At least outside of our home.)  He can be a good brother when he wants to be.  Congratulations, Hilton!  turning  8 is a big step in your life!  Just one of many you will take.   I am proud of you and I love you!

Back to my roots?

I decided to go a little darker.  I have felt like my blond was too blond-ish.  It was getting brassy and feeling greasy.  I did not like how it was looking or making me feel, so I decided to go darker.  Closer to my own roots with a little strawberry mixed in.  I have naturally dark blond hair.  It is mossy and boring and not shiny... just dull. So I decided that I wanted to spice things up a little. Justin put his two cents in. He wanted me to go as red as Joan from Mad Men.  But, I wasn't quite ready for that yet. Maybe next time. This is a little more strawberry blond, but I feel like my hair is a little shinier and a little healthier and I feel like I am shade-appropriate for the winter weather.

Does it feel the same way to you as it does to me, that as soon as Christmas is over, that winter should be over as well?  I must tell you that I love the winter.  I love the snow.  I love the cold.  I love bundling up in a blanket and reading a book or watching my shows during the day, when it is a little dark outside from the cloud cover.  I always worry when it is January and the temperatures start to rise... even just a couple of degrees above freezing.  My thoughts say, "No!  We haven't had enough winter yet!"  I know I am in the minority in these thoughts, but what can I say?  The winter makes me happy!  Some people love the hot sun shining and wearing shorts and going to the lake and swimming in the pool all day long.  I guess, I love those things too... but I would much rather be inside looking out the window at the snow flakes falling... guessing how many inches we will get this time. 

So when winter comes, I want my hair to be a little darker, like the sky outside, like my rooms inside my home, like my thoughts...  Give me a good zombie thriller, or murder mystery to read in the winter and I am good for at least an afternoon... 

Yes, a New Post!!!!

I know, it has been way too long.  I have been much too busy!  But it is now a new year, and I have nothing to do... so I will update you with all of the boring little details of our lives in this tiny town we call home.

Let's see, the semester is over.  I finished teaching my class and managed not to fail anyone.  I was supposed to teach again this semester and then again in the Spring, but due to budget cuts, they will not be offering my class for a while so I have a break!  I don't know if I want to teach again...  it might be more trouble than it is worth, but for now, I am happy just not teaching. 

This semester I am back to working in the ticket office, which I love!!!  It is so fun for me to work among people and to get to boss people around and tell them where to go and what to do and pretend I know more than them...  it makes me happy!

I have found that I have way too many interests.  There are so many things that I would like to learn to do and then when I do learn to do them, I find that I really like doing them so it means I have tons of hobbies and not enough time in which to do them all.  I guess I have the time, but I just don't have the initiative to figure out which are the most important to me at the time and choose a specific one to do so I end up doing nothing...  well, not nothing... but not as much as I would like.  But I did put together a quilt for Lorelai!  I will post a picture of it later...  but I still have to do the binding on it.  She kind of stole it before it was all finished.  She loves it.  It is made of scraps of that minki material which is super-soft.  Lorelai likes soft things.  Who doesn't, right?  But I think hers is more than the average obsession.  She likes to have soft things against her skin and is very particular about the things she wears.  She will only wear one dress to church.  She has several, but unless I want an all out war, I have to let her wear her red velvet twirl dress with the bow.  It is the only one she will wear.  She absolutely will not wear jeans.  Refuses!!!  She won't even wear pants.  She will only wear leggings.  This presents a problem in cold Idaho.  But we have learned to get past it.  She loves velour leggings the most, so I try to indulge her when possible.  Although why she cares what she is wearing is beyond me since she usually ends up in a tutu or her Repunzel costume minutes after she gets dressed anyway...  But they have to be worn over her clothes so that the costume doesn't touch her skin.  My child is normal...  right?

Okay, I have to end this post, but I will continue my rant later...  you have not heard the last from me, my friends!