Today, I will be...

I read my friend, Shana's blog yesterday and she had a rough day yesterday. If it could go wrong, it did. That is how my life feels lately. My Mom and Dad say that Heavenly Father must have something important in store for us. I think it is just the universe's way of amusing itself. No, I don't really believe that. But it is an easier explaination. Just when we thought things were working out for us, we get more challenges than ever. I felt very secure about 3 months ago. I felt a lot of hope. I felt like we were here so that Justin could get a permanant job, we could buy a house, and have that ever ellusive third child. And it all gets taken away in an instant. One little meeting changed my happy little world. Now we are looking for a cheaper apartment because our rent was just raised, a new job since this one will be over next April... and that third baby will have to wait in the Spirit World for a while longer. I know everyone has challenges. And the challenges we each have as individuals are hard for us because then they wouldn't be... well... a challenge. But couldn't we have more than a few weeks free of challenges? Couldn't we have a year that is full of happy, joy and only blessings? I guess it doesn't work that way in life. We look at the challenges in others' lives and think, I wish I had HER challenges. But then it wouldn't be my life. It would be hers. So I guess I should be grateful for what I have and what I don't have. I should be, but today I am just not going to. Tomorrow I will be a better person. I will do my visiting teaching, I will play Candy Land 40,000 times with my kids. I will fold the laundry perfectly so that there are no wrinkles and all the dishes will get done before they are even dirty. Tomorrow I will make the kids a healthy, well balanced breakfast instead of chocolate chip pancakes. I will read my scriptures and actually pay attention to what I am reading. I will give the kids a bath and not yell when they splash water all over the floor. I will keep my mouth shut when I shouldn't say anything. I will not talk my husband to death when he walks in the door. I will do the grocery shopping and stay within a budget.(A What???) I will wash my hair and actually take time to style it. I will wear my contacts and put on makeup. I will make sure the beds are all made, the violin is practiced, the homework is done, the clothes are on and clean, the pull-up is dry, the tummy's are full, before school in the morning. I will pray. I will pray. I will pray earnestly and sincerely without blame, or malice. I will. I will do all of this. I promise. Tomorrow. Today, I will just... be.