Still waiting

Yesterday, after going to the doctor's office to have a bead removed, then going to the Stewart's house for lunch, and playing outside for a it, Lorelai started to get clingy.  She seemed very tired and very warm.  Caroline came home from school with the same symptoms but we had to go to Caroline's piano recital.  During which Caroline did an excellent job on her two songs and Lorelai whimpered and clung to me.  By the end of the recital they were both feverish and we took them home, put them in our bed and gave them Motrin.  Caroline and I have been up since 4:45am.  She has a headache and slight fever.  I just can't sleep.  And Lorelai is still blissfully slumbering.  I am waiting to see what the day will bring.  Will we find out about our loan today?  Or will it be another day of excruciating wait?  I have tried searching the web to see if HR 5017 has been passed through the Senate which would mean more funding for the type of loan we are getting...  but apparently, the Senate does not feel as much urgency to get it passed as I do.  So I will continue to wait, the fate of our future resting in the hands of the USDA.  Justin has already concluded that we will not get the loan, for which he would be grateful, because that would mean our lives would not change at all.  And for him, no change, is good change.  I, however, have a completely different outlook on things.  Being the "moving junkie" that my parents raised me to be...  moving me 8 times in 14 years...  I am of a different belief.  That change can be good.  Even if it is a little scary.  Even if it means giving up some comfort that we have grown accustomed to.  But I must tell you, either way, I will be happy.  I figure, if we get the loan and the house, it was meant to be.  If not, then there is a reason.  So while I might be sad, I think I will be able to get over it quickly.  Meanwhile, I hate just being in Limbo.  Especially with two whiny, feverish, little girls.