Yesterday was a horrible day of teaching. I felt completely inadequate. The students made me feel stupid and I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I possibly could. They had to do a performance. And it started out with them asking how to pronounce a word. I told them how to pronounce it, but this one girl said, "but it is scored like this..." I said yes, but it is pronounced just like it is scored, it just sounds a little differently. Well, this started a whole cascade of how do you say this and that and why is it scored like this and that. It was a disaster and I wanted to just cry. But I didn't. I just finished my lecture and let them go early. I had had enough. When I got to Justin's office I called him and balled and lamented and complained. He listened and gave me advice and was very good at making me feel better. But today I still feel crummy about it and am wondering why I ever thought I could possibly be qualified to teach a college course. And now I have committed to teaching it in the summer too and what was I thinking???? But I am sure things will get better. I am sure that I will get through this rough patch. It just feels a little overwhelming today. And I wish that I were not having to worry about what I have to teach tomorrow.
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6 comments:
I had a rotten day but it didn't involve teaching more of the subservience I feel towards my family. I cater to much to them and have had it and they are always arguing with me and making me feel dumb. They say stuff like "but you said this" or "that doesn't make sense" and I hate that. I cant even imagine college age kids. Hang in there, it will get better!
Ginny Nelson
Sending you an email.
You'll make it. Perhaps we should get pedicures to lift our spirits?
This summer you'll have it down pat, and will be strong enough to tell the little twits that you're the teacher and if they don't like it, drop the bloody class. Tell them to use their EARS, not their eyes. You can do it! Mommy
Give it a little time. You'll settle into your own. You are qualified and you are all learning. So hang in there. Pray for strength, confidence and guidance and you will be pleased with your accomplishments in no time.
And go get that pedicure. Then you can say "Oh yeah? well, my feet look awesome so there."
BoohYa!
Just keep swimming Jenny!! I bet you are doing better then you think.
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