I am Mommy, hear me scream

My friend had this quote on her blog today.  I really wanted to share it with all my peeps.

“It seems strange that women want to enter into professions and into work and into places in society on an equality with men, wanting to dress like men and carry on men’s work. I don’t deny the fact that women are capable of doing so, but as I read the scriptures, I find it hard to reconcile this with what the Lord has said about women—what he has said about the family, what he has said about children. It seems to me that in regard to men and women, even though they might be equal in many things, there is a differentiation between them that we fully understand. I hope the time never comes when women will be brought down to the level with men, although they seem to be making these demands in meetings held . . . all over the world” ( Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, 150).



"When women come to the point of realizing that it is more important to be superior than to be equal, they will find the real joy in living those principles that the Lord set out in his divine plan." - Howard W. Hunter

Sometimes I feel very inferior.  When my house isn't clean enough, when dinner is just hot dogs, when the laundry is sitting in baskets waiting to be put away.  I just think that maybe I need to go get a job in the world because I know my husband thinks he can do a better job at being a homemaker than I do.  But then I remember who I am.  I am the one who changes the poopy diapers, and cleans up the sick, and wipes the snotty noses.  I may not be the best at keeping the house looking like a show place, but it is me the kids want when they don't feel good.  I am the one they want when they want to cuddle.  I hope that someday I find it more important to be superior than equal.  From now on, I hope I can remember this quote whenever I feel like I need to turn the reigns over to Justin and just let him do what he feels he could do better.  I am Mommy.  And there is no substitute for that.

When Does the Magic End?

I remember when I believed in Santa Claus.  I remember living in Texas and I was probably six years old.  I got a doll for Christmas called Mary Muffin.  She was a handmade doll and she came with all kinds of clothes.  I loved this doll forever.  It was my favorite doll.  But I remember when I got her for Christmas.  She also came with matching shoes to match all of her different outfits.  But one of the shoes was missing that Christmas day.  But I remember that I wasn't disappointed.  In my little girl mind who believed in all things magic, Iexcused the missing shoe thinking that it must have fallen from Santa's sleigh when he was high above the houses.  I thought my doll shoe was somewhere in the world all by itself.  But that was okay because Santa does not make mistakes very often.  I remember so vividly believing that.  Even years later when my mom told me that the doll had been purchased by my grandmother and given to me, in my mind that shoe still was AWOL in the world having fallen from Santa's sleigh. 

The magic ended when my cousin told me there was no Santa Claus.  I was 9 years old.  We had just moved from Texas to Pennsylvania.  My cousin, Missy, thought that it was ridiculous that I still believed in Santa.  She was very worldly and knowledgable, even though she was a few months younger than me.  I still wanted to believe.  So I played along for ever.  I pretended that it was Santa who brought my gifts.  In the back of my mind I still imagined those gifts riding on Santa's sleigh headed for my home every Christmas Eve.  It was usually a doll that I wanted.  I played with dolls until I was way too old.

As I was lying in bed the other night I was thinking about how wonderful Christmas is.  Now that I am a parent it seems even more magical.  I get to play the part I have dreamed of.  I get to make my children's dreams come true.  When I wrap each gift, I think of the look on their faces when they open it.  When I remember the many Christmas mornings waking up to the lights of the tree, and the taste of hot chocolate, sticky buns and scrapple...  I try to make the memories for my children just as magical.

So, I guess, the magic hasn't ever really ended.  It was just put on hold for a little while until I could conjur it up again in my own heart.  The true meaning of Christmas is never lost in my heart.  I know the importance of Christ's birth.  And I know that the commerciality of Christmas has gotten out of control.  But every year at this time, even when the rest of the year might not have gone as planned.  Even when things feel so tough we will never get through it.  There is this one night and one day of the year, where magic is real for everyone.  That is what I want to think of.  The magic of the birth of Jesus Christ who was sent to this earth as a special gift to us.  The magic of families being together.  The magic of Santa Claus.  It is all important to my sanity throughout the year. 

I hope that even when my kids are grown and don't believe in Santa Claus, that the magic never ends. 

Pioneer Song

Caroline and I went to see Pioneer Song last night.  That is the play Justin has been directing for the past 3 months.  After all of the horror stories I had heard every night after rehearsals I was not really looking forward to it.  But I was pleasantly surprised.   It was not about Mormon Pioneers, as I had suspected.  Although they were mentioned.  It was the story of one woman who was going to Oregon with her three daughters.  She had had a loveless marriage and wanted her girls to have good marriages with a "song."  Her oldest married an abusive man who made her go to California for the gold rush.  Her middle daughter married a Mormon boy who took her to Salt Lake and they had a beautiful marriage.  Her third daughter dies along the trail.  This woman who was a widow takes in several other women helping them to empower themselves against abusive men, against unhappy marriages, and against difficulties of losing husbands along the trail.  It was so good.  I really loved it.  The music was not great.  It was a musical.  But the story and message were so great.  In the end her oldest daughter leaves her husband to save her baby daughter from the abuse.  And Ruth, the main character ends up marrying the leader of the wagon train after she finds him to be respectful and falls in love with him.  It ran pretty long, but I really enjoyed it.  Caroline and I sat up in the sound booth, so I had to witness this one guy texting the whole night.  So annoying!!! Even after they asked everyone NOT to do it!  Caroline thought the play was scary.  A lot of people died.  And there was one scene with an abusive man and his wife.  I am happy that Justin had the opportunity to do it.  It was written by one of the faculty here in the theater dept.  So that was quite an experience to be able to work on an original piece.  But I am mostly glad it is over.  I am glad Justin will be home in the evening to help wrangle the kids.  And I will get the opportunity to talk to him before midnight!  Gotta love the theatre!

Boots for Christmas

There were these boots I was going to ge for Caroline for Christmas.  They were just some black dress boot from Payless.  I was going to get them online and have them shipped to the store, but I thought I would just go to the store and buy them...  well, of course they didn't have them.  So I  got back on  the computer and decided to go with my original plan because I have this coupon and I want to save every bit that I can.  They are all out online now!  I was just going to buy them yesterday!  What is up with that?  So now I was scrambling looking around to buy some from somewhere else.  Of course EVERYWHERE  is sold out.  I can get some at Sears or JC Penney, but they are going to be $10 more than they would have been at Payless.  I am not happy about this at all.  Caroline has been difficult to shop for this year.  We are not getting a lot for the kids this year because we bought them one really big present.  So I can't spend too much.  Of course, being 10, all the things that Caroline wants are electronic and lots of money.   But I will find something for her.  Something.

My new job

In January I will be an adjunct instructor at BYU-I.  I am going to be teaching a dialects class in the theatre department.  While this is an exciting under-taking, it is also frightening and paralyzing.  I have not been to school in 10 years.  I haven't taught in 10 years! (And that was ESL...  so most of the students hardly understood me.)  And I have not done any theatre in 10 years.  While dialects come quite naturally to me, the teaching of dialects is a little more tricky.  I have to review the IPA or International Phonetic Alphabet.  This is what will help the students know how to pronounce things.  They have to be pretty familiar with this alphabet in order to be able to do this class.  It has been 15 years since I have studied this alphabet!!!  And it is complicated.  Not only this, but I also have to know and teach certain mouth positions.  This is going to really be difficult.  All for a 2 credit class... which means hardly any compensation.  What was I thinking?  Why did I think this would be a good idea?  But I always feel like I should be contributing to the household financially since I am the one who spends all of the money.  But I am in this now.  There is no backing out.  I can do it.  I am an intelligent woman.  I just need to be prepared.  But I would much rather be reading novels than text books.

Christmas tree

This is the first year Lorelai was able to put decorations on the tree.  She had a great time putting them all on one branch.  I had to do a little rearranging later.

 

The completed tree.  There will be quite a bit of rearranging this season, I am sure, but I don't mind.  I just really love our beautiful tree.  And now with our nice high ceiling in the corner, it is really the perfect place for it!

Thanksgiving 2009

This was the Thanksgiving spread this year.  Justin's mom came up, which we were very grateful for.  I did all of the cooking, as usual.  Which I do not mind at all.  I would much rather do the cooking than the cleaning up!  We had turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, potato stuffing, asparagas and Justin's mom made strawberry jello.  We were still recovering a little from the bug we had on Sunday and so none of us really ate a whole lot, but we sure have a lot of leftovers!

This is my good china and crystal.  A lot of people won't let their kids use their good china, but my mom always let us.  So the kids know to be very careful and we have not had a casualty yet.

Lorelai just got a haircut.  Isn't she cute???

Snow: The Day after Sick Day

This was the day after Justin and I spent the day in bed with the stomach bug.  It had snowed all day that day and the kids were itching to go outside, but it was Sunday... and we were sick...  so the next day they played and played.  Lorelai never felt the cold.  Even when she was eating the snow.

Black Friday

I went with Caroline to Wal Mart this morning.  I was glad to have someone to help me carry stuff since there weren't any carts left, but I couldn't buy anything for her! 

I was surprised at how busy it was, but the wait was only about 30 minutes compared to a couple of hours last year at Toys R Us.  There was only one thing on my list that I didn't get, so I was very pleased about that.  I did most of my shopping online this year.  That is what you have to do when you live in Idaho.

Now I am ready to put away the fall decorations and put up the Christmas tree!  And no cooking today!  We have plenty of leftovers from yesterday.  My mother-in-law and I might go to Porters a little later.  But we shall see. 

All in all a very successful morning.

Sick day

After an entire day of Justin and I taking turns worshipping the porcelain god, this is what the house looks like. On Friday, Hilton came home early from school sick. He got sick at school and then kept getting sick all afternoon and evening. He was pretty much fine on Saturday except for a fever. But the fever kept us all in on Saturday since Justin didn't have the play and I didn't have any pressing errands to run. Then I went and picked up McDonald's for dinner. At 7pm is when it hit me. It went on and on about every half and hour until 7am. Justin started at 2am. We were sick all day Sunday and Caroline took care of the entire household. She fed the baby, changed her diaper. She made us tea and gave us refills on our ginger ale. She made grilled cheese for lunch and ramen noodles for dinner. She was a great help. Since Justin and I couldn't make it out of bed. Except to the bathroom, of course. There was one point where I had to change Lorelai's poopy diaper, but I wasn't going to make poor Caroline deal with that. In the 17 years I have known Justin, he has never thrown up. He has had times he thought he would, but he never did. Yesterday was the exception. That must have been some bad bug! I am still very weak since I haven't eaten anything in a day. But the tummy ache is tamed and I am ready to go see New Moon tonight... come Hell or high water, I will go to see it tonight!